Some of you may be a little interested to see what this guy would write when trying to woo the woman of his dreams on match dot com. Just what was I able to get past the moderators? So, for example, they took down my STD test results. But what were they like, "ok, whatever man, " about? Fear not! What kind of real man would I be if I denied you that answer? Let's begin with the last paragraph, since it sort of resolves my entire issue with dating sites in general:
"Market price for a live-in nanny is around $300/week. If it were our child, I would do it for free (though hopefully be able to hire said nanny). If it's some other idiot's kid, forget it! Also, if you are just looking for money, you are doing it wrong; escorts can make anywhere between $100/hour and around $4,000 per night. With that much money you can pay the live-in nanny and forgo the complication of living with someone you do not love."
That's right. I'm looking for a lucky lady who can read this, interpret it, agree with it, and still be interested in the author. And guess what? I have a date this Monday. What else? I know she's for real. Did I pique your interest? Ok, here's the full profile:
I am a bit of a loner. I suppose that is the cost of being a free-thinker. But I love people, and I work a job that requires customer service skills, which I possess amply. Some people think I'm funny.
I really dislike elitism and love people who just want to live and be happy. I believe I am handsome and enjoy things that are beautiful. I believe communication skills are very important. Passion and positivity are two qualities that go well independently or together. I like to be around people who think positive things about me, and I think that's true for most if not all people.
"I thrive on change, and know how to capitalize on it. It is important that I have enough change and variety.
I derive personal satisfaction from directly helping others.
I naturally see the links, relationships and patterns between different ideas. I see the "big picture."
I have a creative imagination and am gifted at using words (verbally and/or in writing) to express new ideas, concepts or plots. I can be called on when a fresh, new way to communicate important information is needed.
I am motivated to cause good, growth and gain in the lives of others. I am also insightful as to the personality, intentions, emotions, ethics, values, and moods of people. I am effective in helping to develop other employees or interacting with customers.
I am naturally curious about how things work. I can help uncover possibilities."
"The MAPP test has undergone extensive validity and reliability testing by a number of psychologists, including correlating the results to the Strong Interest Inventory®. Reliability studies also indicate that the MAPP test is consistent over time."
So, it's not the most romantic thing ever, but it indicates some scientifically validated qualities that I possess, which might be better than my mouthing off whatever I want you to believe about me.
Also, I just bought my best friend's significant other a birthday present, and she really liked it. I think this means I am considerate. :)
P.S. I am a vegetarian, and I'm interested in women who are loving and care about animals.
"I recently discovered that I'm about 1% Jewish, and I'm confident I have a Jewish 3rd cousin. So let that be the 1% that speaks, and consider me a self-hating Jew. Because we all know that the 1% is the only percent that matters, anyway."
"I think the real question is, "Has Elizabeth Warren actually done anything to help the Native Americans?" They live in forgotten squalor, and no one gives a [----] about them. So what about their mighty representative in the Senate? What does she do to defend the people who enabled her success?"
I scored a 35 on the MCAT and had a 3.72 GPA at Emory, and I was supposed to be a medical doctor. But I alienated the elite by pointing out how racist they are with statements like these. Now I deliver pizzas. I have a few business ideas in the works, however, and I don't expect to stay down forever. Also, being a pizza delivery guy is actually a pretty good job. Thanks a million, Mr. Schnatter.
I like Jewish girls; they are smart and conscientious. But obviously I mean ancestry and upbringing and not religion or race. The most important quality a woman can have is the ability to love.
Market price for a live-in nanny is around $300/week. If it were our child, I would do it for free (though hopefully be able to hire said nanny). If it's some other idiot's kid, forget it! Also, if you are just looking for money, you are doing it wrong; escorts can make anywhere between $100/hour and around $4,000 per night. With that much money you can pay the live-in nanny and forgo the complication of living with someone you do not love.
Nanny Pimpin' Ain't Easy
Update: The match dot com staff just discovered that I wrote this and promptly removed it. I've added it again in the hopes that a different team member reviews and approves of it. This is why gender diversity is good in any position, even match dot com moderation jobs.
Thursday, March 12, 2015
Saturday, March 7, 2015
Guess Who's Coming to Match.com
Oh yeah, baby! That's right. Ladies please, restrain yourselves. I know it's hard. But I'm now on match.com for your perusal.
| Test (Req #9101354) | Value | Range | Result | Test Date | Results Date |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Hepatitis C | <0 .1="" td=""> | 0.0-0.9 | Negative | 03/04/2015 | 03/05/2015 |
| HIV-1 Antibody | <1 .00="" td=""> | <1 .00="" td=""> | Negative | 03/04/2015 | 03/05/2015 |
| HIV 1/O/2 Abs, Qual | Non Reactive | Non Reactive | Negative | 03/04/2015 | 03/05/2015 |
I put this in my profile initially, but the match.com staff removed it. I was a little disappointed, as I thought these results were valuable information for a dating site. I wish all the women would do the same.
I have oh so subtly seduced them with the thought of being like this subject of my material affections; I posted a link to the gift I bought my best friend's significant other for her birthday.
.
http://amzn.to/1x3Qn1J
"Just think. That could be you. :) "
Unfortunately, the match.com staff removed these links that I had hoped would tantalize my potential female lover with fantasies of my doting affection.
So far, no women have seemed in the least bit interested except a Russian woman who is a little bit too old for me and already has a child. So maybe if she pays me to help take care of her kid. I'm a very good mother, I think.
Monday, March 2, 2015
The Mysterious Giant House Caper: Or The Invention of The "American Dream"
Have you ever wondered why every house being built is enormous, out of your price range, tied to a hugely exploitative bank loan, and ... well, wait a second. I think I thought myself right into the answer. Wouldn't it make more sense for people to buy cute little houses on small plots of land and spend 40k or so on the entire ordeal? Who in his right mind, if it were an option to purchase such affordable housing, would spring for the down-payment, 30 year mortgage, and 300k house that ends up costing twice as much as that in compounded interest? Why do we buy houses we can't afford? We have no fucking choice!
As soon as a piece of land becomes valuable, say because a region develops a business interest, developers (aka bankers or rentiers) descend on the real estate like a flock of vampiric vultures. They work with local legislatures to ensure that ONLY giant houses that cost more than people can afford will be built. They pass local bylaws in the real estate they pull out from under the public's legs stating that only giant houses may be built. They even go so far as to dictate that people must plant some stupid weed on their lawn and presumably expect them to pay thousands more dollars for a machine used to cut the weed. This is known as grass. It's just the cherry on the poisoned cake.
In short, the American public has no say in what sort of housing they'd like to live in. Certainly, they would not choose to live in exploitative large and overly expensive houses, if they had a fucking free choice. But who can compete with the banking system to purchase that land and build cheaper housing on it? Who can compete with the old boys club on the back stage rigging all the laws? The American public is absolutely forced into taking out exploitative loans or into paying exorbitant rents to owners usually in league with those banking rentiers.
Where's my 40k house that I can fill with expensive niceties out of the half a million dollars I saved by not purchasing a "private interest" "corporate" house? It doesn't exist because the housing market is an insane monopoly pretending to be free enterprise, complete with shady legislative connections and banking chicanery. Well, I say, we've had enough.
It's time to demand government housing for everyone. We'd all certainly pay lower rents that way, and certainly the democratic opinion favors smaller houses married to far less exploitative deals. Given the education and the choice, I sincerely believe the American public would choose not to get taken for hundreds of thousands dollars, translating into literal years and years of real labor value, and would instead opt to live in a dwelling more in line with their modest wages. What about spending cuts?
What about austerity? Why the silence when Republicans stand to lose some of their precious money, whether by an attack on their feudal nonsense or by a heartfelt jab at their willingness to spend lots of money ensuring that 50 million Americans go medically uninsured, a death sentence for untold thousands. And all that because they hope to ultimately profit from those deaths. Now who mentioned death panels again?
As soon as a piece of land becomes valuable, say because a region develops a business interest, developers (aka bankers or rentiers) descend on the real estate like a flock of vampiric vultures. They work with local legislatures to ensure that ONLY giant houses that cost more than people can afford will be built. They pass local bylaws in the real estate they pull out from under the public's legs stating that only giant houses may be built. They even go so far as to dictate that people must plant some stupid weed on their lawn and presumably expect them to pay thousands more dollars for a machine used to cut the weed. This is known as grass. It's just the cherry on the poisoned cake.
In short, the American public has no say in what sort of housing they'd like to live in. Certainly, they would not choose to live in exploitative large and overly expensive houses, if they had a fucking free choice. But who can compete with the banking system to purchase that land and build cheaper housing on it? Who can compete with the old boys club on the back stage rigging all the laws? The American public is absolutely forced into taking out exploitative loans or into paying exorbitant rents to owners usually in league with those banking rentiers.
Where's my 40k house that I can fill with expensive niceties out of the half a million dollars I saved by not purchasing a "private interest" "corporate" house? It doesn't exist because the housing market is an insane monopoly pretending to be free enterprise, complete with shady legislative connections and banking chicanery. Well, I say, we've had enough.
It's time to demand government housing for everyone. We'd all certainly pay lower rents that way, and certainly the democratic opinion favors smaller houses married to far less exploitative deals. Given the education and the choice, I sincerely believe the American public would choose not to get taken for hundreds of thousands dollars, translating into literal years and years of real labor value, and would instead opt to live in a dwelling more in line with their modest wages. What about spending cuts?
What about austerity? Why the silence when Republicans stand to lose some of their precious money, whether by an attack on their feudal nonsense or by a heartfelt jab at their willingness to spend lots of money ensuring that 50 million Americans go medically uninsured, a death sentence for untold thousands. And all that because they hope to ultimately profit from those deaths. Now who mentioned death panels again?
Thursday, February 12, 2015
The Woeful Cost of Having a Vagina
So, today, I stumbled upon this article at Jezebel.com where this woman wrote an article detailing the cost of having a vagina, presumably to imply the argument that it's so much harder to be a woman.
Here's a link to the article. Well, I decided that was an incredibly narrow-minded and sexist argument, since the vagina is incredibly valuable, compared to, say, a cock. But we all know that women are terrible at math, so I decided to help them.
Use this simple formula:
Use this simple formula:
Subjective Value - Upkeep Costs = Genital Worth
Now, I'm not a social scientist or anything. In fact, I hope to deliver pizzas for a living. But I think we can both agree that there might be a sex difference in subjective genital value. Anyway, this is the comment I left on the article. I guarantee it gets censored, so I decided to put it here instead:
Well, to be fair. The average vagina is worth a lot of money as well, probably more than it costs. I'd agree to have one. I mean, I just read this comment written by the friend of a cam whore. Keep in mind that being a cam whore doesn't even involve touching anyone. It's literally what *showing* men your vagina is worth. You can probably make more if you actually decide to have sex. On the flip side, my penis is worth basically nothing to women. Men believe in free love.
I have a friend whose girlfriend now does it. She gets $500/show average and does it M/W/F - so $1500/week. [No comment on the time requirement, which is probably like 5 hours a week.] You do the math, thats a little over $70k a year (I don't have a calculator) something like 74 if I'm not mistaken (my friend who dated her found other girls earning $800-$1000+ per show. Yea it's serious!) [No comment on whether this income is taxed.]
You have to be different though. There are a lot of girls with girls, girls with guys, you want something that a lot of men can fantasize to. If you would like ideas just look up the most popular porn topics. You can PM me or any of the non weirdo guys here and I'm sure they can give you more than enough ideas to get some stuff started.
I would recommend as well that you find a good guy friend (or girl friend) that likes being on camera as well. 2 people doing each other is always hotter than 1 doing themselves.
Good Luck
http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/610889-Cam-girl-earnings
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
The Evolution of My Profile on Plenty of Fish
I love to read! I also love to listen. I like hearing knowledge and wisdom and the little things that people find significant. Obviously I prefer positivity, but I try to be understanding. People who talk about complicated things are more interesting. If you know good stories, I'd love to hear those!
I am interested in spirituality, but I am very irreligious. My worldview is torn by the ambiguity that a supercomputer creates a superstition that links us and everything altogether or that the universe itself is such a reality that is so connected.
I value cooperation over competition, since I think working together makes us happy, but I am a little suspicious. I am not a fan of the hookup culture. If I don't know and trust you, how do I know you aren't a secret agent sent by the devil to harm me? Hmmm?
Security professionals view confidence as being the output of success over time.
I like alternative music, anything that's imaginative and optimistic.
My goal is just to be happy. I don't have much money or power. My Dungeons and Dragons alignment is Chaotic Good. I am somewhere between a monk and a druid. If that just made sense to you, then please let's create a campaign together.
Well, let's end this with a shameless self-plugging. I am looking for work, and if you happen to know someone looking for help, I'd be happy to hear from you. I possess a bachelor of science degree and have a nice professional resume. You never know, right?
Ok, ya'll. I've officially decided that women are not worth it. But I've decided to stay on this site to heckle people, since I've been having fun doing that.
This is funny. I just viewed this clinical therapist's profile where she talks about wanting a sensitive man who can understand her emotional needs, and if you are another dude, I don't need to tell you just how bullsh*tthat is. But she goes so far as to cite this webpage illustrating her point that romance is not dead, and her perfect soulmate might just be on the other end of a Tindr conversation. In the same style, I am going to post scientific evidence that women really care mostly about nothing else but how much money you will spend on them. Like, maybe you can find that one odd coot who will love you for being a good man. But let's take this back to reality, for a second:
"However, a study on status in the book shows otherwise: In a carefully controlled experiment (Guéguen and Lamy 2012), researchers tested the idea of how important status is to women. They placed men in expensive cars and instructed them to approach women and ask for their phone numbers. Then they had the men do the same thing in medium- and low-status cars.
The results? The men were successful 23.3 percent of the time when women saw them in a high-status car, 12.8 percent of the time when they drove a middle-status car, and 7.8 percent of the time when they drove a low-status car. Clearly, women are monitoring our status, and we’re acutely aware of that fact.
So the next time someone asks for “proof” of hypergamy, now you can just give the statistics of the willingness of women to give out their number to the guy in the Maserati.
Read more: http://pjmedia.com/drhelen/2014/03/03/hypergamy-cars-and-phone-numbers/#ixzz3RUb4oWW1
There you go. Scientific proof that most women just want you for your wallet. If you are driving an average vehicle -- something entirely reasonable even if you are filthy rich -- women will assume you have no money. Half the TOTAL number of women who would have paid attention to you suddenly write you off. Half of the remainder will write you off should it happen that you don't consider investing significant amounts of money on your car terribly important.
This is not an isolated incident. You think you won't believe me unless I supply you with the far more credible anecdotal evidence? Well, suck on this:
"Really, ladies? Could you be giving women a worse reputation? This video is ridiculous and shames women everywhere."
http://elitedaily.com/humor/ferrari-prank-proves-women-care-money/
Update: I'm not the only one who noticed that study about the cars.
http://www.returnofkings.com/30553/women-dont-care-where-you-get-your-money-as-long-as-you-spend-it-on-them
You want to know why romance is dead, ladies? Well, there ya' go.
I am interested in spirituality, but I am very irreligious. My worldview is torn by the ambiguity that a supercomputer creates a superstition that links us and everything altogether or that the universe itself is such a reality that is so connected.
I value cooperation over competition, since I think working together makes us happy, but I am a little suspicious. I am not a fan of the hookup culture. If I don't know and trust you, how do I know you aren't a secret agent sent by the devil to harm me? Hmmm?
Security professionals view confidence as being the output of success over time.
I like alternative music, anything that's imaginative and optimistic.
My goal is just to be happy. I don't have much money or power. My Dungeons and Dragons alignment is Chaotic Good. I am somewhere between a monk and a druid. If that just made sense to you, then please let's create a campaign together.
Well, let's end this with a shameless self-plugging. I am looking for work, and if you happen to know someone looking for help, I'd be happy to hear from you. I possess a bachelor of science degree and have a nice professional resume. You never know, right?
Ok, ya'll. I've officially decided that women are not worth it. But I've decided to stay on this site to heckle people, since I've been having fun doing that.
This is funny. I just viewed this clinical therapist's profile where she talks about wanting a sensitive man who can understand her emotional needs, and if you are another dude, I don't need to tell you just how bullsh*tthat is. But she goes so far as to cite this webpage illustrating her point that romance is not dead, and her perfect soulmate might just be on the other end of a Tindr conversation. In the same style, I am going to post scientific evidence that women really care mostly about nothing else but how much money you will spend on them. Like, maybe you can find that one odd coot who will love you for being a good man. But let's take this back to reality, for a second:
"However, a study on status in the book shows otherwise: In a carefully controlled experiment (Guéguen and Lamy 2012), researchers tested the idea of how important status is to women. They placed men in expensive cars and instructed them to approach women and ask for their phone numbers. Then they had the men do the same thing in medium- and low-status cars.
The results? The men were successful 23.3 percent of the time when women saw them in a high-status car, 12.8 percent of the time when they drove a middle-status car, and 7.8 percent of the time when they drove a low-status car. Clearly, women are monitoring our status, and we’re acutely aware of that fact.
So the next time someone asks for “proof” of hypergamy, now you can just give the statistics of the willingness of women to give out their number to the guy in the Maserati.
Read more: http://pjmedia.com/drhelen/2014/03/03/hypergamy-cars-and-phone-numbers/#ixzz3RUb4oWW1
There you go. Scientific proof that most women just want you for your wallet. If you are driving an average vehicle -- something entirely reasonable even if you are filthy rich -- women will assume you have no money. Half the TOTAL number of women who would have paid attention to you suddenly write you off. Half of the remainder will write you off should it happen that you don't consider investing significant amounts of money on your car terribly important.
This is not an isolated incident. You think you won't believe me unless I supply you with the far more credible anecdotal evidence? Well, suck on this:
"Really, ladies? Could you be giving women a worse reputation? This video is ridiculous and shames women everywhere."
http://elitedaily.com/humor/ferrari-prank-proves-women-care-money/
Update: I'm not the only one who noticed that study about the cars.
http://www.returnofkings.com/30553/women-dont-care-where-you-get-your-money-as-long-as-you-spend-it-on-them
You want to know why romance is dead, ladies? Well, there ya' go.
Sunday, February 8, 2015
My Response to an Old Friend From Emory University
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