Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Monogamy is Prostitution

True love is one of the world's greatest illusions. In every civilized part of the world, people are convinced that marriage is an institution of partnership, homogenized personality, and yes, love. But this is not really what marriage is about. It is about owning someone's sexual access.

The history of monogamy begins with agriculture. As soon as men's work became significantly more valuable than the woman's through the hard work of plowing and harvesting, women became subjected to male domination. No longer did concealed ovulation work as a glue to provide sex and sharing with the whole community. Now men made women into private property. Children were no longer raised in common but were the property of their fathers.

Modern marriage is sold as a life partnership between two people who love each other. Yet, it seems that marriage has not lost its historical root. It is an agreement between two people, and especially for a woman, to limit her sexuality to one person who will provide resources. The whole institution is a kind of hidden prostitution.

Prostitutes sell their sexuality for resources from men with whom they share their sexuality. They use these resources to live, eat, and even raise children. Prostitutes do the very same thing. The only exception is that prostitutes do not barter their sexuality with only one man. In effect, a successful prostitute can gain more from her work than a wife can from hers, especially when a wife's husband does not have many resources to share.

Marriage is a form of prostitution hidden cleverly behind mountains of romance novels. But it is not seen as morally corrupt. It claims to be a relationship based on love, and yet, one can love family or friends without experiencing the concept of "romantic love." So, as moral people, we must make a decision. We can believe that prostitution is as acceptable as marriage. Or we can decouple sexuality from love.

But the second option is not as horrible as it seems. When sexuality and love are intertwined, we can only truly love the person with whom we are having sex. We get this idea that it is impossible to love two people at once. However, when love is something apart from sex, we can love each other all equally, like a mother can love both one of her children and another.

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